babydoll in the dollhouse xxx

june 13 2012

23.12

dollhouse


dropped off by my ladyboss..
walked through the path...

smiling seeing the harlequin floor tiles :)

you see yesterday i was gardening at 8.40 in the evening !

i couldnt face going home another day knowing what i will see...
front garden where my window overlooks has been overgrown
havent been looked after ,it seems in a long time...

the harlequin tiles that adorn the path to the front door
parts were missing , as if they were thrown everywhere
waiting for someone to piece them back together...

i sat last night in my room...a dolls room where you can put anything
that will make it your own...
it is lonely,it didnt feel like home ...
as after chelsea,it was the wendyhouse i went to live straight and called my home...

i knew,its up to me to make this change,to make it mine,bit by bit..
it will be in time...

i call it the dollhouse,as all the houses are the same in this road,
they are all victorian and they are all adorn with elaborate designs
but ofcourse theres only one that you can call 'mine' xxx

it looks as if it has been asleep for a while as no one cared for this dollhouse and its waiting...

and waiting...

for a person to wake her up...

so i did,

as i weeded and under the weeds i uncovered some treasures,
an old clay planter just been left under my window by someone who didnt care...

i smiled and cleared the debris that has collected and lifted her up where i assume
she used to belong...

in the middle of my window ,now she sits proudly waiting to be adorned...

one by one saw the missing pieces of the harlequin path,
like the color of dominoes,
of white and black...

i picked as much as i can find while i weeded all that i can ...

and started putting them back like a puzzle and one by one they went back
to where i assume they came from...
and oh my!!!

how different it looked having the pieces put back!


while i was doing all these,i was startled by a voice!
it is the man who looks after the dollhouse who is my housemate as well...

he just walked in, and said 'oh my god,i am really impressed!!'

i cant believe you put the tiles together !!!
weeded the garden,i was meant to do that but when i get the chance maybe in the next couple of weeks!

lets call him Mr J

so i said startled,

'oh please dont ever do that!'

'i would have punched you in the nose if i wasnt crouched down trying to figure out
where the other missing pieces of the harlequin are? they seem  to have gone missing!'

mr j: i am impressed,i know now you want to complete it!

he walked across the front garden towards the other garden which is the extension of mine and the dollhouse and showed me a pile!! white and black and squares and triangles!!wow a treasure xxx

me: omg! so this is where you kept all of them! thank you i can finish it now!

and so i did,there are two pieces missing but i am sure in time i will find xxx

and so, we chatted a bit while i bagged the weeds,he said he has some sunflowers for the garden he has been nurturing in his loft...i said he must put them out now its summer where they will get loads of sunshine to grow.

we talked of the ivy i pulled that has gone haywire and choked the purple flowers growing under my window..

i told him,not to worry as it will grow again soon..
ivy like wisteria needs directions,otherwise they will go wherever they think they can
choking everything in their path,,,

maybe put wood chips to cover the garden floor i suggested,
he said he might get colored pebbles for it..

he was telling me ideas on how he wanted the path borded by victorian stone he kept from the old garden,i thought it was brilliant..

but all i want is for it to be colourful,
to be alive,
to be awake...

to stay looking loved...

my doll room i sketched,
looked at ideas and sent them to my Darling who i am sure is on his wits end!!!

he is on a holiday and all i do is tell him what ideas i have,
how maybe it will look and would he want me to wait until he gets back to London?
or should i get the chandelier i wanted?
what about the summer beddings for the planter and the pots in my front garden??
should we get them from the big shop when he gets back or should i get them
from the village florist?

i want this telly but then he asked me is it a smart one?
hahahaa!!!

i thought for a while and replied...
'oh Darling,should it have to be a smart one??'

hahaaaa!! i laugh when i think about it now as i am not a techie person and all i care about
is i can watch my CSI and my movies when i get home!!!

so my Darling, i can imagine Him patiently replying to me and explaining the reason why
He wants a smart telly...

so,my solution is,
give Him the number of the man who is selling it and the answers to what telly it is...
and let my Darling sort it out in His own time :)

but for me,the only answer i could give Him the other night was...
hhhmm,it is 43inch and hd ready?

omg ,i am a hopeless person! haha xxx

i want a canopy...
a chandelier...

and spent some time today at work browsing online on things i thought
would look nice...

i may not get any of them but i know what i wanted...
and even if i leave the dollhouse one day ,maybe...
these are things i will keep for me...

i want my doll room to be a happy place...
my own antique fireplace antique wardrobe..
antique drawers...
but i dont like my antique drapes!!

oh how hard it is to be a girl...
today walked to the shop to get my chandelier that i forced Him to choose and ended up with nothing!!Out of bl**dy stock!
i got my beddings that was quite shocking cos it doesnt like any elegant than my floor matting!!

i think the sales man saw my face when he handed my order,it was a shocked face but i thought
it will be too impolite to say something like...

'What the heck is this all about??this is not what i wanted!'

so i just held my tongue didnt say anything and walked out of the shop
feeling a bit confused why they sold me something that is not what i wanted !!

sigh...

but i will go in tomorrow i  will ask them to exchange it to something i reserved
and i hope it will be what it is and finally get over it!

mink bedding

satin for my Darling xxx

i smile just thinking about it :)

a blank vintage frame...

all the photographs we sent each other throughout the time we have known each other...
the wall where i want to put them all...
my winter frame,will occupy its own place..and still waiting for my autumn frame..

waiting for my Darling to come for me...
cant wait to see Him xxx
be with Him...

so difficult to be apart just after we've been together
like paradise that we so sought after xxx

wherever He is,still my days are occupied by Him...

and with all the busy times we have been having i smile even of just the thought of Him..

Sugars have been intouch but never had the time to meet any of them
and salsa is calling me and i know i have to go and dance soon,
 as alongside everything else...

i am a dancer...
and i should dance..

and as i await my Darling to come home,
i am sat here and thinking...

my doll room is a blank canvass...

as is my future home wherever it will be...
it will wake up in time for me...


:)